There are very few jobs in life that offer so much opportunity to play as being a parent. My kids present me with fun and chances to play on a silver platter every single day. Like the way that they laugh when I spill something on the floor, trying to turn something annoying into something funny. Or the way they make a goofy monster face at me when I am trying to put on their shirt, attempting to make me smile in my very serious rush to get them dressed in the morning. And especially in the times when I am in such a hurry to do everything else that I forget to really see them, and they ask, "Mommy, will you play with me?"
I am ashamed to say that more often than not, I turn my nose up at their offers. Their laughter over my spill is muffled by my exasperated sigh, the monster face is ignored because I can't be slowed down, and the words I secretly dread hearing are shoved aside by my own words of "not right now," or "maybe later." And later rarely comes. So I have begun to hear the question less and less from them. Among their many other qualities, kids are adaptable. And they know that mommy doesn't play.
But why?
Why is it so hard for me to embrace this magical gift that parenthood has brought me?
Because of course, being a parent is much more than swimming and playing. There is food to make, and floors to clean, errands to run, baths to give, tantrums to manage among countless other things. Any parent can attest to the fact that all of these things can at times (or all the time) feel pretty damn overwhelming. And the way to feel like you have some kind of control is to stay on top of it. Running a household ain't no joke, yo. Its very easy to get into the "I need to get shit done" mentality. Playing is often the last thing on our minds, and the thing that is the easiest to put on the backburner with 17 loads of dirty laundry, a growing sink of dishes, and grocery store trips breathing down our necks. And before we know it, we are stuck in the cycle of that mentality, clinging to our time-lines and to-do lists, so fearful that if we turn our attention to something else even for a moment, the structure of our lives will crumble at our feet. Playing is one of those things that require us to stop what we are doing and connect. With us so tied to holding all the grown-up stuff together, it becomes easier and easier to write play off as something that is for kids to do, and not for us adults to be bothered with, with so much responsibility on our plates as it is. But here's the thing:
Play is also our responsibility.
It is our responsibility to our children, and it is our responsibility to ourselves. Play is the way our children get us to be on their level. So often they are expected to take part in our very adult world. We tell them to listen, to sit still, to wash up and get dressed and have good manners and do their homework. All things that are important for them in our world. But isn't it only fair, isn't it equally important for us to show that we want to be a part of their world? In turn, by entering into their silly world full of laughter and imagination, we allow ourselves to reconnect with joy. The both boundless and simple joy that comes from deep inside our inner being. Play is the way our children get us, in our most raw and wonderful form. It is the way that we show them they hold just as much importance as any errand or chore around the house, and it is the way that we show ourselves the same thing. Play is the way that we teach them there is more to life than checking off tasks on a to-do list. And sometimes we teach them by letting them teach us to remember how to play.
I am still learning from these little teachers I was given. Some days are rough, and I find myself stuck in the daily grind. But I always know that at any moment I have the choice to turn it around with a monster face and a few magic words....
"Hey guys, wanna play?"
