My Meandering Mind-Installment I

Take sleep when you can. I see my kids fighting sleep and I ask. why?!?! Whyyyy?!?! What I wouldn't give to have someone forcing me to take a nap. For you adults... You'll sleep when you're dead? Really? No. You won't. You will be dead when you are dead. Sleep now.

Most things aren't worth the battle. Some are. But most aren't. Just let it go, and it will let you go.

Hands aren't the only limbs that can pick things up. Use your feet to your full advantage while you are young and nimble and relatively flexible. Kick shit outta your way. Pluck that stray dirty sock off the floor with your toes and deposit it into the laundry basket, while holding an arm full of dirty clothes and possibly an infant. And then give yourself permission to feel like a bad-ass.

Some expressions are just plumb stupid. For instance, (this one was pointed out to me by a friend who is an expert on what is stupid in this world...so thanks): "That's so funny I forgot to laugh." So, you are telling me that what I said was so utterly hilarious and you were spending so much time marveling over its comedic genius, that it totally slipped your mind to remember to laugh? Oh. you were being sarcastic. What I said was so un-funny that you forgot to laugh at it? That's fuckin stupid. Don't use this expression. Ever.

Most of the time kids are much more logical than we are. Listen to them. Don't dismiss what they say. It usually makes a shitload more sense than anything we can come up with on our own. Don't be ashamed when a pre-schooler schools your ass. Just go with it.

Speed bumps are so annoying. But they were a really good idea. People drive like buffoons. Appreciate speed bumps.

Its never a good idea to use your phone in any way, shape, or form when alcohol has entered your system. Our phones can do so much now. Its amazing!  And you will want to utilize all of it when you are wasted. That's the opposite of amazing.

Don't underestimate the healing power of water. Drink it. Lots of it. Who cares if you are thirsty. Drink that shit!!

Its not being humble to respond to a compliment by being self-deprecating in return. What it is, is annoying. Just say thank you and smile, and then I won't feel like my kind words were a waste of my precious energy.

Ooooh I love me some rocky road ice cream.


Stay tuned for more juicy tidbits from my meandering mind...