My Meandering Mind- Installment II

Things that are hard are usually the most rewarding. That's annoying. If things were easy and rewarding that would be better.

Sometimes I think I am really good at staring at people without them noticing. And then I wonder "what if they are just really good at pretending not to notice when someone is staring at them?"

Honestly I don't understand what is so great about oyster shooters. You swallow the damn thing whole. All you taste is whatever flavor it is drenched in. In that case, couldn't you just drench something else relatively small and slimy in a flavor of your choice, and swallow it whole? Wouldn't that be cheaper? Wouldn't it kind of give the same effect?

Sometimes I forget I put on mascara and then I rub my eye really hard. That never ends well.

I constantly am reminding myself that most things really don't matter in the long run. How clean my house was, or how great I looked in that outfit are not the things I will be thinking about when I am old and gray and reflecting on my life. I'll be thinking of moments I've had. Either really terrible ones, or hopefully lots of the really great ones.

Why do people have birds as pets? They are kind of pointless. Not pointless in the world, just pointless as pets. I guess talking parrots are an exception. They are pretty cool. But the small ones that chirpity chirp all day... Why?

I just thought of something. Those pet birds I was talking about ^ Maybe we have them so we can feel like we are outside even when we are not? Maybe it makes us feel closer to nature? There. I feel better about that whole bird thing now.

There has never been a personalized licence plate that wasn't douche-tastic in some way.

If you have a personalized licence plate ^ and you are reading this, I hope you aren't offended. I also hope you realize how douche-tastic you are by association.

I feel genuinely sorry for people who can not be their true selves for some reason or another. What a terrible way to live.

Allowing yourself to be lazy is one of the best friggin feelings in the world. Truly.

I consider people who work in places where there is loud, upbeat music playing all day very lucky. I bet it can make even the crappiest job a lot more bearable. Unless of course you hate the music. Then that would really, really suck.


I feel like if I worked in a place like that ^ (the good kind) I would have no choice but to randomly break out into bad-ass dance moves when I thought no one was looking.

Knowing my luck, when I did those dance moves ^ there would always be someone looking that I wouldn't notice was looking. Because I'm not good at pretending not to notice that someone is looking. I'm not even good at noticing someone is looking.  I'd do the bad-ass dance moves anyways.

Speaking of stores with loud music, I just realized that some of my favorite people in the world are those really flamboyant gay guys who work in retail. The ones that greet me like we are longtime girlfriends who haven't seen each other for ages. Now, those guys appreciate the loud, upbeat music at their job. You can see it in the way they walk to the beat and in the way they periodically belt out the chorus. Yep, I dig those guys. They make me feel fabulous, and I never think they are bullshitting about how I really look in those jeans.

This is a true story.
So, not even 5 minutes after I wrote out that deep-ass thought ^ I walk into a retail store. (Yup, the kind with the loud bumpin ass music). Not only is there one pretty gosh darn flamboyant fella, but all 5 of the employees on shift make up that particular segment of our population. Seriously. Every single employee. But guess what? Not a one of them were the aforementioned type I am so fond
of  ^. No one greeted me with a "hey girl!" No one swept me away to show me what would look hot on me. As a matter of fact, no one seemed to be all that pleased I was even there at all. I think I was interrupting their shit-talking session about some co-workers who weren't working that day. They did not make me feel fabulous, and even worse... those fools didn't appreciate a damn note of the music bumping out of the speakers above them. Bitches.

That will teach me to stereotype. ^

Actually it probably won't. Some stereotypes are so true its funny. And I like to laugh. So...